I´m going to be honest...today has been SUPER hard! I have experienced things I never expected to when I signed up. Since it is Tuesday, the team and I spent the morning at Missionaries of Charity. We decided to switch off and today, I was in charge of the kids. The kids are not disabled as the rest of the residents. They are only a day child care for impoverished families to not have to pay for child care. Well, this in itself was an experience. First, there are 35-40 kids all under the age of 4 in one little building where they run rampant. It is only me, a resident (meaning a severely disabled man unable to communicate), and another girl that is in charge. Immediately after breakfast, she somewhat dissapeared and I didn´t see her again for a couple hours. So, I was basically left with this chaos. There are at least 10 kids crying at any given moment, kids hitting each other, and going to the bathroom in their pants all day. At least 20 have constant runny noses that flow all over everything, so I in turn end up picking them up, having their wet pants seep through my clothes to my skin and their snot all over my hands and clothes. They go to the bathroom in little buckets that are all over the floor of the bathroom. Many of them miss, and the smell of urine and ´number 2´ are everywhere you go. This in itself would have made for a hard day, but unfortunately, there´s more...so much more...
So, I have been holding this one child for about an hour and a half because she cries every time I put her down. Finally, she falls asleep, so I carry her into the sleeping room. In here, I find another little baby wrapped up in many blankets. It is sleeping soundly, so I go back out. I went back in an hour later to check on the kid I laid down. She was awake, so I got her...the other baby was waking up by the noise, and moving around a little bit. I took the little girl out and since no one else seemed to ever care to go back into this room to check on this baby, I did about ten minutes later...and the baby´s eyes were open...but it wasn´t moving. Immediately, I began to panic and unwrapped the baby as quick as possible...and it was so warm, but it wasn´t breathing. I sprinted out of the room already in a panic and sobbing and unable to breathe myself. I find the girl ´in charge´ carryingi n food for lunch and have her come quick. I then find out the mom works there, and she comes running and grabs her baby. In the moment, I sprint to find a sister (one of the nuns) and my team. As I reach my team, I can´t even talk...Honestly, I collapsed to the floor in their presence telling them. Laura knows CPR and so we sprinted out and she attemped, but they stopped her within 3 seconds and sent the mom on her way to the hospital with the baby, but they don´t realize it needed it now...by the time it got there, it was too late.
I discovered later, the baby was sick and unable to eat and receive milk, and it had many issues breathing. He was only 2 months old, and I know that is Heaven looking down on us now. He is so much better off than any of us here on Earth now. My teammates have comforted me and let me know I did all that I could, but I still have never witnessed anything like this before. I´ve seen a baby pup die of pnemonia as I pet it, and that was so tramumatic, but this was a human life!!! Please pray for comfort for the family. He is now in the hands of the Lord, so the babe is now in the best of hands. Thank you in advance for your prayers!
March 4, 2008
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5 comments:
Wow, Kelly. I don't even know what to say. What a truly hard day. But isn't it good to know that even in all of the brokenness of our world, God is still sovereign and God's grace is still with us? I'll be praying for this family and for you and your team.
KL
Dear dear Kelly--- I can't even write anything right now other than I'm crying so much for you and all those little ones and the family of that dear angel baby. Sometimes pain seems too huge to stand. I think of OUR LORD sweating blood in the garden. I will pray .. and pray and pray. I send you my love and my compassion. How lucky we all are to have the LORD. Without the LORD how could we stand to live in this world.
But we do have Lord. I will write you more tomorrow after I stop crying.
Kelly, I don't think I can find the words to express what you went through. In such an impossible situation you went above and beyond what anyone could have expected. My prayers are with you as you continue along this incredible journey.
Chris
Kelly, I just can't get you out of my mind. I'm sure you see all of that day as you close your eyes. I see your words as I close mine!
I keep thinking that the Lord let that dear little baby feel your love and faith and compassion right before the baby was called home.
I keep thinking of all those other kids and the despair their mom's must feel having no option for them other then to leave them in that filth so the mom's can work.
I know the way we grow up when we have things here in America you and I we-- see suffering like that and we want to fix it right that min. There you were in a hell too big to fix in the usual sense. I mean you couldn't clean all those kids and give them wonderful small group interactive learning experiences -- and you couldn't save that baby but you brought a force field of compassion and love from the Lord right through your hands and through your tears.
I recall an account of Mother Thereasa sitting on the ground in the mud with a man as he died. She had no medicine that could fix him but she gave him something gigantic. She waiting for the Lord's final call at his side. She kept him company in his pain and terror as death came on...
When asked about this she talked about how so often people are not willing to sit there and bear their brother's fears at their side unless they can FIX IT. She talked about how people who can't be fixed get abandoned. This is true in Bolivia and in Lexington. What a huge lesson her words have been for me.
And you dear ---- you showed right up in God's time and showed that little angel a companion who carried. *You fixed what there was available to fix.*
And then God did the rest. If my words fail forgive me dear... my heart really, really cares.
I hope Tarzon stays very near you in your painful moments.:-)
wow, whew.. a little baby dying in your arms almost.... man.. it's good to know we serve a sovereign God. And yes, that lil baby is doing much better now in the Hands of the LORD.
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